The last year and a half have been a blur. I know that the last time I posted it was a pretty heavy subject, and I have been back here many times to write about new things that were going on, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it once I saw that picture of Belle. It still tears me up inside that she is gone.
Now that it's been a while since Brett graduated college, I've decided that it's finally time for me to take that leap. I've got one semester under my belt and as I prepare to start the second, I find myself excited and terrified all at the same time. I know that I can do it, but it's going to be a really long road and every time I think about the commitment to it, it just seems daunting. So far, the two classes that I've taken have been good and I was able to maintain A's in both classes. Hopefully that's a sign of things to come. I am very appreciative of the fact that I was able to find a program that I will be able to complete online because it allows me to do things at my own pace (mostly), which means that I don't have to alter my day to day schedule or cut corners at work.
I used to have a hard time understanding people who started college without a real plan. I would hear them talk about their decision to start down the path toward a specific major and then change their minds after a while. I figured that if you were making the commitment to go back to school, it was only logical that you had made up your mind about what you actually wanted to do with life. The program that I've signed up for is one that I never really saw myself pursuing, but when it came down to it, and I was meeting with my academic advisor, she kind of directed me to it. I have already started thinking about changing it, but since it goes against how I've always felt I'm having a conflict inside of myself about it. If I change, it's quitting on something that I've committed to. If I stick with it, I'm potentially risking some serious failures and that scares me. I know that I don't have to decide right now, but I don't like the thought of not knowing where I'm headed. If I make the change, things will get more challenging because I most likely won't be able to do all of it online, but in the end I feel like it will be the better decision.
I'll keep you posted on what I decide to do.
