November 29, 2011

Mustaches are gross

Someone that we know has recently grown a mustache. No beard, just a mustache. It rests extremely prominent on his upper lip, with nothing else there to help those who look at him make any sense of it. It is all alone, almost as if the rest of his facial hair saw it coming and ran in the other direction.

This person is family.

I am the type of person who tells people what is on my mind, and I don't have a very strong filter. Especially if the thought is in relation to something extremely ridiculous. This no-filter-asshole-behavior has no exceptions for family. If anything, family gets it a little worse than most because they know me, and they know to expect it.

When said family member showed up to Thanksgiving, and I caught sight of the ghastly thing, I blatantly laughed out loud and called him a pedophile as soon as he was within earshot. I felt a little bit like Nelson from the Simpson's, only without the pointing.

Anyone who has a mustache, without an accompanying beard, looks like they should stay the hell away from small children. Even Brad Pitt:




I don't understand this trend, and hopefully I never will. There is just something so wrong about it. It just looks like an extra eyebrow.

Am I the only one who feels this way about them?  Tell me I'm not alone here!

10 comments:

  1. I understand what you are saying, however my dad has a mustache. But I think there is a difference between a 55 year old man having a mustache and a 20 or 30 something guy having one. Mustaches were popular back in the 70s and 80s, so older men are more likely to have one now. Also my dad has a big scar on his upper lip that he hides with his mustache. I'm not a fan of every guy having a mustache but I think there is a proper age and face (some people just look hideous with a mustache no matter what) for a mustache.

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  2. Oh my word, no! There is a guy in our church with the worst mustache ever. He's only 26, but he looks 40 because of it. I can't figure out why he thinks its a good look on him...and so many times I've wanted to tell him he should shave it, but I just don't have the guts! Yikes!

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  3. Brooke - I guess I can see where you are coming from, I'm sure there are a few people out there who don't look creepy, and your dad could be one of them. The majority do though....

    Elena - You should totally slip an anonymous note into the pocket of his jacket at church! Or you could leave one under the windshield wiper on his car... That would be a good way for him to get the message without you outing yourself as the culprit. :) Think about it, and if you do it, make sure to update me.

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  4. W.W.J.D.
    He would not judge other I tell you that.
    Hell I think even he had a stache.

    I'm in the porn industry and with the awesome music I perform to, the stache makes it that much better to watch.

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  5. I think you are right Chaz, Jesus did have a mustache, but he also had a BEARD! If you would've read the whole post you would know that I am bothered by mustaches when they stand alone on a man's (or woman's for that matter...) face.

    As for the porn industry, that makes it even worse.

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  6. I think CRAIG has a solo Stache and we all know how bad ass he is.

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  7. There is no way in HELL that Craig has a solo stache. He's way cooler than that.

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  8. "as if the rest of his facial hair saw it coming and ran in the other direction."

    LOLOL....

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  9. Too Funny.....The Said family member feels the same way about mustaches.

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  10. You definitely could have fooled me on Thanksgiving. I was convinced that you loved it.

    Glad you weren't too horribly offended by my post. :)

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