Another step forward

Ever since I found that letter last year I have been trying to find the courage to make contact.  With the help of a new colleague I was able to find another physical address that I could attempt, as well as a p.o. box, and with the new information in hand I decided that I should just go for it.  What the hell, right?  I figured that the worst that could happen would be to never hear anything back, and everything would remain the same.  I would continue life not knowing, but at least I could say that I tried. 

So about two weeks ago I wrote him a letter and stuck it in the mail.  After I had dropped it into the box, knowing that it was irretrievable, I felt a little bit nervous.  Nervous, but confident that I was making the right choice.  Two or three days later, that same envelope that I had sent away was back in my hands with something new written on the front...."return to sender, not at this address."  Fuck.  I had a feeling that would happen.  So I opened up the envelope and took the letter out leaving it as a hollow, worthless carcass and grabbed a fresh new envelope and scrawled the next address from my list onto its blank surface.

After about a week I had gotten to the point where I wasn't anxiously checking my email every hour, or running upstairs to see if someone had checked the mail on a daily basis.  I decided that I was just going to relax.  If I was going to hear something it would probably be a while, so there was no sense in thinking about it all the time.

You know that old saying 'a watched kettle never boils'?  I believe that statement to be true.  Almost in the exact moment that I took my eyes off of the kettle, it started boiling.

I am not joking. Almost literally, the day that I decided not to worry about it anymore I got the response that I had been waiting for.  Brett and I were sitting on the couch after we had gotten ready for bed, and I was just going to make sure that my alarm on my phone was set to wake me up the next morning.  This is something that I do every night that drives Brett completely insane. If it went off yesterday, it will go off tomorrow.  Just when I had entered the password into my phone I noticed that little red circle above my email icon, indicating that there was an email in my inbox waiting to be read. Just one. I tried to convince myself that it was nothing, that it could easily wait until morning and proceeded to make sure my alarm was, in fact, set to go off at the crack of dawn and wake me for work.  Of course it was set, just like Brett always tells me. 

I couldn't resist though, after I triple checked my alarm, I clicked on my email icon and there it was.  An email from someone, that until a year ago, I didn't even know existed.

Don't text and drive....

You also shouldn't text when you are sitting in traffic not moving. I learned that lesson the hard way today. I was sitting in traffic today on my way to work, and heard a concert anouncement on the radio for a band that I love. Since I was at a dead stand still I decided to send Brett a quick text to tell him how excited I was.

"Aaaahhh! 3oh!3 is coming in concert!"

That was all I said. Some idiot apparently saw me sending the aforementioned text message, while I was sitting in traffic not moving, and decided it was necessary to call the police to inform them that I was texting and driving. About ten minutes later I saw red and blue lights flashing in my rear view mirror.

I don't know how much the ticket is going to cost yet, but I can guarantee you that we won't be at that concert when it comes around.

People are assholes.

The true definition of shindig

This year for my birthday Brett had some elaborate plans, and they were all top secret.  I am not the type that does well with waiting for surprises, whether it is waiting to surprise someone myself or knowing that I have a surprise coming my way.  I am what you would call, impatient. 

In the weeks leading up to my birthday I was freaquently asked to leave the room so that Brett could discuss the pending birthday plans with his sister, or not to enter the garage due to the construction of a super secret birthday gift.  He was working on projects, making plans, and doing a VERY good job of keeping it all secret.   The suspense was killing me. 

Each day the week of my birthday I recieved a different gift*.  It made each day so exciting to look forward to!  All of the gifts were amazingly thoughtful, and so much fun! 

Then the big day came.  The gift that he gave me on my actual birthday was something that I had been wanting for a really long time, so I was so excited to get it. Then when I found out that we would be venturing to the Schlange's house for dinner that night, I immediately packed it up so that we could all enjoy it together.  The dinner plans were, as I thought anyway, last minute and I couldn't be happier that I would be spending my birthday evening with my three favorite people.

When we arrived at the Schlange residence, to my surprise, the entire house was decorated with balloons, streamers, confetti, and a huge happy birthday banner.  I was a little shocked at how overboard Shay had gone to decorate the house just for the four of us to have dinner.  But then again, she always does this kind of stuff, so I didn't think much of it at first.  When I got my new job she decorated her house and baked me a cake to celebrate over pizza.  She's a rock star.

That's when they sprung it on me.  I wasn't just there for a little birthday dinner after all, on the docket for the evening was a surprise Mardi Gras costume party.  Do you even understand how cool that is?  A costume party in the middle of March!!  It was such an amazing surprise.  They even had costumes ready and waiting.  They seriously thought of everything.  Costumes, masquerade masks, food, music, drinks, and a long list of guests.  Remember how Shay wasn't allowed to buy me anything for my birthday since she paid for me to have my nose peirced on New Year's Eve as an early birthday gift?  She found a way around it.

The night was amazing, and we met a lot of really fun new people.  There was only one situation that got slightly out of hand, and lets just say that Brett and Chaz may have had to physically remove an inebriated neighbor from the premesis.  Other than that, the night went fatastic.

Who could ask for a better birthday?  Not me!  I wish I could turn 25 everyday!

*In case you were wondering....

Monday - UVU hoodie {So Cute!}

Tuesday - Tickets to Alice and Wonderland along with the book {Such a good movie}

Wednesday - Awesome new jewelry holder for my bedroom

Thursday - A trip to Colr Me Mine in Orem to paint ceramics {SO fun!!}

Friday - The Sims 2 Castaway Wii game

Saturday - Nintendo Wii

Don't sweat the small stuff

{photo from Flickr}

Since returning to work I have learned to embrace an old nemesis. I have allowed it to accompany me throughout parts of my day, and have even learned to appreciate it.

When I originally started commuting across the valley three years ago I loathed the distance that I had to travel, and amount of traffic that I had to deal with on a daily basis. I used to bitch and complain constantly about how terrible the drive was.

After being unemployed for three months, however, I woke up last Monday to set off for my first day at my new job and I was actually looking forward to the drive. I know now that I was being selfish before to complain about how much I hated the commute that I was forced to make every day, when instead I should've just been grateful that I even had a job at all.

It's amazing how monumental we make the small and insignificant little things in our day to day lives seem.

I am going to try my hardest from now on not to focus as much on the little things that I usually allow to crawl under my skin and annoy me, and instead redirect the energy that I would normally spend dwelling on said frustrations into reminding myself that I am so fortunate to be where I am in life, even though it’s not what I would consider an ideal situation.

Lost and found

The intensive searching has finally paid off, and in seven days I start a new job.

After I lost my job I felt worthless. I felt like nothing was ever going to be okay again, and I was terrified. I had no idea how we were going to make it through such a mess. Despite all of the encouragement I was receiving from everyone around me, I couldn't convince myself that we could handle it. I tried my best to hide the fact that I was panicking inside, and keep a smile on my face, but it was tough. Everyone else seemed to have confidence in me, but for some reason I just couldn't be confident in myself.

It took a while for these feelings to subside, but eventually they did.

I think that once I realized how much Brett and I had already been through together, I started to gain the confidence that I had been looking for. I am so excited about this job, and I think that it is going to be a great change for me. I loved my last job, and I will definitely miss it, but I can't wait to see what great opportunities this new job will bring.

I asked, and I received

About four months ago I submitted my blog for review over at Ask And Ye Shall Receive where, as proclaimed in their blog address, they promised to fucking tear me apart.

Yesterday was the day that my review went up. You can read it here.

My reviewer was a chick named Mongoliangirl. She definitely did not disappoint on the aforementioned promise, and I actually laughed a few times while I was reading what she had to say about my blog. Not only did she tear me apart, but she did it in a pretty comical way. Her number one complaint seemed to be my lack of consistency. I am an all-over-the-place kind of blogger, and she didn't really like that too well. I get it.

She thinks that I should focus more on the monumental happenings in my life, and expand on those stories more than I have been. I can't say that I disagree, but at the same time I worry that if I focus too hard on one set of topics things around here will become a lot more monotonous. What do you think? Do you want to hear more about my hunt to find my biological father, the emotions that go along with said inquisition, and the time that Brett almost died?

Maybe I should pour my heart out a little more.

I did disagree with the part of the review where she suggested that rather than telling you the story about the time that the photographer didn't show up to take our pictures, I should've posted a back story on the graffiti covered building that we were planning on having in the background of those pictures. My only problem with that suggestion is this: I know nothing about that building to be able to write a story about it. I just know that I used to drive by it on my commute everyday, and it seemed like an awesome place for a photo shoot. So that really wouldn't have been an option. I knew the story about the photographer not showing, because I was there and I was extremely upset about it, but the history of the building is a complete mystery to me.

I also found it completely hilarious that she was so focused on the one post that I ever did about a pair of sandals. She thinks that I throw too much of my daily life into my posts, and used the phrase "a bunch of tidbits, trivia, and surface tripe" to describe the parts of my life that I blog about. The only reason that this was confusing to me is that I thought that's what having a blog was all about. Sharing stories about your life, and letting people get a feel for who you are. If all I ever blogged about were the serious, sad, and tragic things that happened in my life the stories would be too heavy, and my blog would be a severely depressing place to be. No one would want to read it.

I like constructive criticism because it helps me improve myself. I will definitely think about everything that she said, and try to come up with ways that I improve the stories that I tell and make them more interesting. As for the randomness, I don't know if that one will ever go away. I am a random person with random thoughts, and I kind of like that about myself.

She did say that she thinks my writing is clear and straightforward, and she thinks that I have potential, which is pretty cool. She also said that she is going to put me into her reader and see if I can improve, which I appreciate. I was really glad to see that she didn't hate my blog template. That is one thing that the reviewers tend to have a problem with when they review blogs.

Thanks MongolianGirl for reviewing my blog, I'll be interested to see if you change your mind about me in the future.

No commute needed

Today my buddy Shaymus introduced me to a beautiful little piece of technological heaven. It's called Skype, and it is my new favorite thing.

I live an hour and a half away from Shay, so we don't get to see each other as often as we would like to. It has been worse since Brett got a job because he has to work a lot of evenings and weekends. Sure we have phone calls and text messages to communicate with each other, but it's just not the same when I don't get to see her smiling face.

Not anymore!!

Now that I can Skype with Shay, it's just like having her right here in my living room. Whenever I need her to cheer me up, tell me a joke, give me advice on an outfit, or just talk to me she's there. It's almost as good as if we were neighbors!!

Thanks for hanging out with me today Schlange's! It was so good to see your faces.

Schlange the Impaler

Early in the afternoon on New Years Eve Brett and I were at the mall with Shay when we passed a chick with a nose piercing, and I casually mentioned that I couldn't wait to have mine done someday. I have had a mole on the side of my nose since I was 16 years old, and have always planned on having it removed so that I could pierce my nose.

About eight weeks ago I was at the Dermatologist with Brett, and asked the doctor about the possibility of having said mole removed someday. I was just looking for some information really....Cost, procedure, and healing time. After I asked him about it, he spontaneously offered to do it for me, right then and there. Voila! Mole gone.

Brett has known for a long time that I wanted my nose pierced, and I was sure that I had mentioned it to Shay before, too. Apparently she wasn't aware of my desire because she instantly stopped dead in her tracks as we were leaving the mall that day, and shouted to us both "let's go do it right now!"

I couldn't believe the excitement in her voice. It was like I had just told her that I was going to buy her a new puppy! She was so happy at the thought of someone shoving a needle through my flesh, that I almost questioned her motives. Maybe she doesn't like me as much as I thought she did....

Brett and I both laughed it off. We both knew that with me not having a job at the moment, it just wasn't something we should be spending our money on. But Shay had other plans. After leaving the mall we went to visit Chaz at work, and Shay kept on insisting that we go back to the mall and impale me through the nostril with a metal stud. Chaz also thought that this sounded like a great idea, so to make a joke out of their enthusiasm, I said I would go through with it if they paid for me to have it done. I figured it would get them to shut up about the whole thing because they were both just trying to see how far they could push me, and they really wouldn't want to spend the money to have it done.

I guess that reverse psychology isn't one of my strong points, because plan back fired on me. They both thought that it was a great idea for them to pay. "It will be your early birthday present!" Shay exclaimed.

Shit.

After Chaz got off work we met him back over at the mall where I had an appointment at the piercing shop. I was terrified, and I almost chickened out.



After about a half hour of trying to talk myself out of it, I realized how much I actually did want to do it. Brett kept on telling me that it was my decision, and I should go through with it only if I really wanted to. Even though I was scared, because I knew it would hurt, I decided that it was now or never. I've always wanted to do it, and now I had the chance. My mole had been removed, and my best friend wanted to buy it for me as a birthday gift. Who was I to rain on her parade?

Now I have a new accessory!



It didn't hurt quite as bad as I had anticipated, and I didn't even cry. Now that I have it I'm really happy that I went through with it! Thanks to the Schlange's for my (3 month) early birthday present!

Let's just say, I didn't pee my pants

Brett and I have both heard that the movie Paranormal Activity is one of the scariest movies ever made. We've heard that people were so scared that they got up and walked out of the theater in the middle of the show. Some girl even told Brett that she couldn't sleep for a week after she watched it. We both enjoy a good scary movie, so when we were at the Redbox yesterday, and saw it on the list of available movies, we decided to rent it.

Big mistake.

I don't know what it is about this movie that scared so many people. My guess is that it must have been the bad acting.

I will admit, there were a few little things that made my heart race while we were watching this movie. Some doors moving without any explanation, sheets on the bed being moved with no one there, the sound of footsteps in a dark hallway. I get it, that kind of shit is creepy. But all of the other crap that they threw in was just too much.

I hate watching a movies that are such a big let down. It makes me mad that I even wasted my time to see it. Remember this one? Ridiculous. It makes me wonder why people even waste their time and money to make these movies.

Did you see it? What did you think?

Dawn of a decade

As far as I am concerned, 2009 can suck it. It was the hardest year that we have had so far, and I am glad that it is finally over. There were so many low points. It seemed like every time we turned around we would get whacked over the head again.

I really hope that 2010 brings more positive things. If not, I may just go insane.

Compared to last year we had a pretty low key New Years Eve. We hung out with the Schlange's and the Leavitt's, and played an awesome game. Just the way we like it. Good friends, good drinks, good fun.

I hope that your New Years celebration was a great one! Here's to the start of a fabulous new decade!! Cheers!