February 25, 2009

Taking Another Step

We finally received word on my mom's autopsy results, and we now know that her death was the result of an uncommon late complication related to the heart valve replacement surgery that she had almost three years ago.*

I don't know why, but I thought that I would feel a sense relief or comfort having an answer to this question that has been burning in my mind for the last eight weeks. It has consumed my thoughts, and I was sure that once we knew this answer everything would feel better. It doesn't. I am just mad now. Mad that there is nothing that I can do to bring her back. I am powerless, and that makes me angry.

*{In the report they called it Acute Myocardial Infarction due to Septic Embolism caused by Prosthetic Aortic Valvular Endocarditis.}

2 comments:

  1. Oh Kaylyn..I'm sorry! You are a STRONG GIRL!! You'll be ok.. I've seen how strong you can be!! You will be in our thoughts and prayers.. things will start looking UP!!

    Chel-bell!

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  2. I'm so sorry! I remember feeling that way. I'm still mad sometimes that my grandma (Basically my mom though) died. I struggle with it all the time. It does get better though. Which is probably not something you want to hear right now. It does though. I am preying for you.

    lots of love,

    Brandie

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