September 30, 2009

The reality of the fact that it is going to be winter soon hit me hard today. I am not looking forward to winter. I really never do, mostly because I hate the snow, but this year just seems so much harder than the years before it. Usually I can find at least a few positive things to focus on in the gloom of the winter months approaching. Winter means holidays, family parties, treats, gifts, good food, happy memories, and fun. This year though, I can't seem to find the spark of excitement that I usually have.

I can't help but dwell on the fact that this year winter means that I will have to experience my first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my mom here, and the hardest part of all; facing the day that marks one year since she's been gone, and reliving all of the awful memories that day brought. New Year’s Eve will never be the same to me.

I really miss her today.

3 comments:

  1. Each time I read something about you missing your Mom it makes me want to cry, I can't even imagine loosing my Mom. You are strong though and you will get through this, I hope you still enjoy the holidays with your Husband. Keep Smiling

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  2. None Other Than Mr. AnonymousOctober 1, 2009 at 8:43 AM

    I am in the same boat my friend. Each birthday I have I remember 2 years ago when my best friend (Grandpa Wayne) died. But you have to use those times to remember all the fun times you had with them. Focus on the great memories not the shitty ones.

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